10 Reasons Why Moms Should Do ALL The Laundry

A really smart blogger mom-friend of mine once posted on the Facebook, "If you have a kid who is old enough to operate a tablet/video game/smart phone and you are still doing their laundry for them, you're doing this parent thing wrong." 

Humph!  I thought. After 21 years of parenting, I suppose I'll never have this mom-thing figured out.

But, as I was tenderly bleaching my son's socks yesterday, it finally came to me. And you know what, my highly respected mom-diva friend, washing my kid's laundry actually makes me an even more better parent-and wife! 

(And by "more-better," I mean, better than "less-gooder.")


Here's why:

1. I'm creating memories. I've never been the mommy-mom/soccer-mom type. Somewhere I failed to give my kids the illusion that my world revolves around them and only them.  But doing laundry is a mom-thing. It reminds my little darlings that I am the mama and it's my hope they'll fondly remember how I did mom-ish stuff when they're older.
2. Washing ALL the laundry generates income. I pull at least a dollar and change every week picking my family's pockets.
3. I'm more in tune with my kid's personal lives. Are they changing their underwear everyday, are they using TP properly, do they need new underwear? How else is a parent to know these things?
4. Doing all the laundry makes our family more charitable. I know what clothes to donate when my kid's clean garments show up repeatedly wadded in the hamper.
5. I am the fashion police. I can intercept beloved contraband clothing (too small, too tight, too holy, too inappropriate) and make it disappear without a protest. *poof*
6. Being master-washer makes me a hero. I cannot count how many house fires I have prevented by removing the quilts my kids leave in the lint traps.
7. I save money and preserve life. I don't ever have to worry if their sweaters will be shrunk, their darks will get bleached or their whites will turn colors. I find the ink pens before they make it into the dryer. I make clothes last longer with stain removing chemicals.
8. I help the environment by saving energy not using other appliances. For instance, the iron. Who knows how many 3rd degree burns and trips to the ER I have circumvented by not using an iron, besides all the time we don't waste using one. Our clothes go straight from the dryer to a hanger. If something gets missed, there's nothing in our wardrobe that can't be unwrinkled with a damp towel and a quick fluff in the dryer!
9. Washing clothes is love personified. It says, I care how you make me look. Pulling apart their crusty socks and turning their inside-out clothes back to outside-out says, I will go out of my way for you. Hanging their clothes up says, I matter and you need me.
10. I'm like an insurance policy. I know where everything is. Doing my kid's laundry fosters my children's co-dependence on me and sets the bar high for their future wives.  They will thank me when they're older.